Praying for my 80 something year old friend who is driving me a little looney but I know God will protect her.

Praying for me to STOP listening to CNN so I can move on from believing the negativity of these CNN Black in America reports.

Praying the insensitive will be able to one day open their eyes and realize the harm they cause..

Praying for myself to get on a better sleep schedule so I am not tired like I am during the day! [I know I can do better!]

Praying for all of those who read my blog (those who do not too) who need prayer or intervention in their life.

Praying that I continue to keep my teeth in tip top shape so I will not have another cavity. (Only 2 cavities in my lifetime!)

Praying for a certain someone I know to RETURN my emails so that we can get to work on a project.

>>>If you are reading this, O, where the HECK are you? I feel like you fell off the planet. Waaaah. No love for the Jan 26ers? You are supposed to be my twin. Dang, you have me HANGIN!

Praying that I find another spiritual home if it is the church or even another faith. My friend told me to check out, Bahai

I am thankful to be prayerful for all!

Despite me bickering so much this week, I am happy that I am still sane regardless of how upset I may have been. I honestly need to stop caring so much but I get to emotionally wrapped up in caring for the best for all of us!

Der Spiegel reported:

++ Visit to US Military Bases Cancelled ++
1:42 p.m.: SPIEGEL ONLINE has learned that Obama has cancelled a planned short visit to the Rammstein and Landstuhl US military bases in the southwest German state of Rhineland-Palatinate. The visits were planned for Friday. "Barack Obama will not be coming to us," a spokesperson for the US military hospital in Landstuhl announced. "I don't know why." Shortly before the same spokeswoman had announced a planned visit by Obama.

But somehow had time to workout:

++ Obama Takes Time to Work Out ++
4:49 p.m.: Obama enters the luxury Ritz Carlton hotel wearing a T-shirt, black sweatpants and white trainers -- apparantly to work out in the hotel's gym. He kept up the campaigning on the way there, smiling and waving at tourists and other onlookers.

I realize that I'm just a hick, but if you want to be the Commander-in-Chief (even referring to yourself as the Commander-in-Chief) and you are near a military hospital outside the US why wouldn't you make sure you had time to visit?

Well this day is finally over.And, it was actually a hard one.  I swear my body is aching in places that I didn't even know could ache.  I actually had to go to Anthony's school today to complete my parent hours.  And, they had me doing more work there than I do at my every day job.  The first assignment they gave me, I had to tell them um.... not doing that.  They wanted me to wipe down the lockers with a cleaning solution, and scrape off gum, and stuff.  And, I was like you are crazy.  To be honest, I did clean about three lockers before my inner Sheree started screaming ... wtf??

So I had to have them assign me to do something else.  I spent the rest of the day helping them clean out the Textbook and Supply Room and organize it.  Now you know since I said organize it, it was right up my alley, but it was kind of a dusty mess in there, ugh!! Nasty.  But, when I was done, it was looking "tight. And, I finished the rest of my day doing some work in the office, typing somethings and making copies.  Lord, I am glad that is behind me.

Anthony comes home this weekend,  I completely redid his bathroom/guest bathroom, and changed his room all around.  Then he has two weeks of Taekwondo Summer Camp, before the school year starts again.  I am actually planning to finish, my back to school shopping this weekend, as to avoid the crazy Back to School Crowd. 

Does anyone else hate back to school shopping, or in my case the back to school CROWD?  It is almost as bad as the Black Friday Toys R Us 6 am sale.  Insanity...

Ok so clearly I am sleepy... and starting to ramble.. So i am signing off before I type something that I not "Susponsible" for....

Parenthood and the Serenity Prayer

Oops..

I did not realize my BIG ole mouth over on CNN sort of caused people to come to my blog here. And, I am sharing that if you go through the history of my blog that I go through a wave length of emotions but I am human so don't hate me for having a bad day or week. I am trying to be as civil and honest with my blog but you have to understand the history of who makes up SerenityLife if you want to know who I am!

Though I may have my *outbursts* on life, I try to still bring humor to my day if at all possible. I do live in my own self-contained bubble to deal with some things I go through but I do not usually share all the insanity but I read and write a lot all over the web. This is my play ground and I try to be as sincere, civil and respectful to everyone who I meet.

If you are prepared for the ride, join me! I don't bite!

Thank you for reading and coming over here:
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-49728

I have a tumblr account that links up *some* of my blogs so if you want to see it here you go here:
http://thejenntafur.tumblr.com

The day we went to the breeders to pick up our new dog we didn’t even know which one we’d be leaving  with. The breeder had given us a numbered order to go into the pen and pick whichever lab pup we wanted. We were 4 out of nearly 10 people.

As the first 3 people went into the pen and grabbed the plump little black lab they chose we sat to the side. I had my eye on one little guy who was normally running around the center of the pen but would then would run back behind the puppy house and hide when people walked inside of the pen to chose their puppy.

When it was my turn I walked into the pen with Deb. She immediately grabbed a puppy near her feet and said “Oh this one!”, I, instead, sat down on the cement floor of their pen and just said “Okay, which one of you is wail?” and that little black lap who had been hiding behind his pup house ran out and jumped into my lap. I grabbed him up into my arms, stood up and let Deb and the breeder know that this was my dog. At that second he became officially known as “The Prince of Wails.”

The trip home was long, some 3 or so hours and he slept in my lap the whole time. When we got back to the house he ran around our legs as we showed him around his new home.  Even though we had just taken this little creature, barely 4 months old,  from the only family he had ever known he settled in instantly and was just the happiest little thing I’ve ever seen.

He followed me everywhere and we were instantly a team. He was my boy. Everyone thinks they have the best dog. It’s just  like it is in parenting. With Wail things were different. Everyone loved Wail. Every time we’d go out someone would say “That’s the best looking dog I’ve ever seen.”, or “That’s the best behaved dog ever.”

With Wail, I was accustomed to him being the “best” in everyone’s eyes. The breeder, after witnessing the dog he was becoming, quickly told us how he regretted him to us because he was the perfect specimen for breeding and showing. He begged us not to neuter him so we could show him and breed him. While we entertained the thought for a while we realized we just wanted to love him as part of the family and be with him as he wanted to be with us. The breeder was not pleased and in the end he pretty much stopped talking to us all together over it.

It didn’t matter to me, all I wanted was a doggy I could love, snuggle, to play and have adventures with and Wail delivered in spades.  He lived a life of enjoyment, indulgence and happiness.  He had a few medical problems near the middle years of his life. He was diagnosed with cancerous tumors on his backside and belly, but luckily for everyone they were benign. And while he got a few more tumors over the years, they never affected his quality of life.

Just a few years ago it was apparent that he was having trouble with his hips. Hip Dysplasia is a common ailment in Labradors and the first year or so after it appeared we were able to treat it easily with medications. Everything was smooth sailing up to a few months ago when I noticed Wait appeared to have an infection in his tooth. We took him in and indeed it was a broken tooth that had become infected. After having it extracted I brought him straight home for a day of relaxation. As he was getting out of the car his sister Abby jumped on him and through him from the car to the concrete. Something bad had obviously occurred in his neck because he was unable to move his left front leg. We took him straight back to the vet where it was diagnosed as permanent nerve damage. From this point on Wail’s mobility would be severely reduced. With his bad back hips and his bum left from leg, on good days he could maybe move around at only 5% of his former range.

Interestingly enough where as a human would probably become insanely depressed at such a huge loss of mobility and independence, Wail was never down, depressed or sad. As a whole Wail was never upset at any time in his life. He was always happy, even when faced with hardest challenges that could be heaped on a dog. It’s this happiness and joy that I’ll miss the most. Out of every single person and animal on this planet he was the only creature that was always happy to see me.

Sadly all good things must come to an end, and so today something phenomenally great has had it’s epilogue. This morning, when I woke up I heard Wail making a grunting growling sound that I have never heard before. I knew there was something very wrong. When I went to him he was rigid, foaming at the mouth and his belly was shaking. We rushed him to the pet hospital in record time where the wonderful staff and terrific Dr performed test after test on him.

However, the prognosis was undeniably grim and final. I've lost friends, uncles, grandparents and a parent, and I cried harder than I’ve ever cried before as the realization sunk in and it was clear that Wail’s time had come to a close. We held him tightly as the Doc began to administer the sedative that would put him to sleep. He was a brave dog and in the last few minutes all of the pain and fear he had in the morning had eased away and he was once again the happy, tame, loyal, clam, perfect and loving companion has had always been.

I closed his eyes with my hand and whispered into his ear that I wanted him to stake a nice plot of land for the family in the afterlife, that I loved him more than anything and that he should hurry on so he didn’t miss ‘Doggy Heaven Orientation’.

Rest in peace, Wail. I love you <3<3<3

empty colar

Wordpress

I want to give wordpress a chance, I really do but they are some things that Blogger has wordpress does not. It may seem trivial but to me it means the world and the same that goes with Blogger. With Blogger you can change the color of your written content but you can't (or I don't see it) on Wordpress. You can use the strikethrough line in Wordpress but not in Blogger. Wordpress is for a person who is a "power user" when it comes to blogging...I am not that person and that is why I have stuck with Blogger for a while.

I was about about to switch to wordpress but then I found out how to change my template and I stayed put...yet again. This time I may move again because of one "small" thing...I can't add emotions to my post on Blogger. I found (oh so I thought) different scripts so I can begin putting emotions in my post on Blogger. I tried it and maybe I didn't install it correctly. Maybe I will try it this weekend when I have more time. To be honest I'm happy with Blogger. I know you "power users" think Blogger is for wussies...well call me "mr. wuss". I see the pros like Todd Kelley, Fave, Anewlis, Nikki and others fix up their blogs and they are on point. Me, I just wanna post. If I learn a trick or two...sweet. ^_^ But for the most point, I just want it to work.

I'm pretty sure I can learn how to use the "strikethrough" line for Blogger down the road but why Blogger does not have the "smileys" code imbedded in there is kind of funky. I sometimes copy/paste the Yahoo emotions in my post and it's not really a big deal but what if someone wants to leave a comment and use a emotion in their response.

Janitor

Last night after the 2nd gig I got home around 9:30pm or so and that was pretty good. I waited until the Mrs. got home before I got comfy. Once she got home there was no excuse for me not to go to bed but I stayed up until close to midnight...that's not good for so many reasons.

I need to get into the habit of once I get home from work, I need to hop in the shower then head to bed because next month school will start and I need to really get my head in the game in reference to school and I need no distractions. I have already noted to myself that my internet usage will come to a crawl doing the week. I can go right to sleep with the radio on (I mostly listen to BOTT Radio Network...I like to go to bed with something positive, I can't understand how people can watch the news [except the Weather Channel...love that channel especially with cool jazz music they play from time to time] with all that negativity going in their brain. As long as it's talk radio I'm cool, but if the television is on, that's no good to me.

Even though I have seen a program a ga-zillion times but I still try to watch it. I know I shouldn't but I do it ALL the time. I know I have to tighten this up because I can not have this bad habit because last cluster it was the act of God that I receive a good grade and this year I am NOT going to bring those bad habits because I will have no room to spare. My geek sis Jen gave me a great idea that I should record as many podcasts and released them gradually through the months I am busy [that is why she is my sister from another mother ^-~].

Last night at the second job a couple of things happened to me, one situation that I need improvement on and one situation I found humorous. When cleaning restrooms and since I have been cleaning off and on for over 15 years I have come to realize some people in corporate America is just nasty. What really gets under my goat is that when I'm cleaning the women's restroom...and I have the door propped open (which means "I am cleaning in hear") women still try and come in (and it's not that there are not other restrooms in the building...I'm the the 2nd floor...they can go one floor down and use the restroom) that get's under my skin. What makes it worse is when they try and pretend that they are sorry or use excuses not just take the elevator just ONE floor down and go to that restroom. Two women came in the restroom yesterday and told me I didn't have to leave because they were just going to "freshing up"...I still left. 1. These are women and I am a man, 2. these are women and I am a Black man (I don't have time to be catching a case for nonsense). I am asking God to help me with my attitude when it comes to this because hey, that's going to happen from time to time.

The other funny incident that happen last night was is that cupcakes were left from a meeting so I took one and placed it into the frige where I clean the office. Later in the day I went back in to begin cleaning and one of the employees for the company came in to do some late night work. As I a saw him walk away I noticed something in his hand that looked like a "cup cake". I went to the refrigerator to look and low and behold it was the cup cake I put in the frige...HE TOOK IT! ^_^ ^_^ All I could do was laugh. I guess that was God's way of telling I really didn't need the cup cake after all and to be hones from the looks of him, he really did not need the cup cake (but he has the corner office so I guess he's the head guy). Whatchagonnado?

Overall last night as always was a great night for me because I did not listen to my iPod until close to leaving...that was my alone time with talking and listening to my Heavenly Father. Some nights it's good to hear your own thoughts. Tonight I will try and do better when I get home...get home/hop in the shower/check my music blog/check plurk and twitter/head to bed.

Keep my lifted up in prayer. ^_~

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-49728

Some dude decided to give it to me on CNN.

I took it up until he was talking about the father of my kids? Dummy, I don't have kids!

The person below is what you call an internet TROLL! Idiot..
I am just laughing at him. I kinda said something flippant to him and he went off. Well, READ what I said YOU big
ole POOT butt!

http://www.ireport.com/people/CreepingDth

I'm not to sure if I will use that service again only because I prefer how I can control the craziness over here! 8) Don't even sniff on me you mean internet trolls. Dang, your Mommy should have given you a bigger hug for you to be so angry.

Same old same old issues of the PROBLEMS. Be a part of the solution instead of saying well let's discuss. I am disappointed.

WE ARE BEYOND the discussion to the point the black community is up in arms with problems. And the more problems we hear about the more problems that are created. Mainstream media is FEEDING into the drama. Please JUST STOP it!

IF I HEAR ONE MORE STORY OF BEING BLACK, SINGLE, EDUCATED and needing a man, I am going to throw a connpition or have an epileptic seizure.

So, black women need a man to complete us! Hmm..this is the same sob story given to other minorities or even white women but black women are the perpetual target? So we need to be like June Cleaver with a house with a picket fence to be happy? Get over the cinematic drama and WAKE up!

Minor ramble but there is a point to this:

Don't get me started about the feminist movement either because there is a difference between the Civil Right's Movement, the feminist movement and any other movement that used the Civil Right's Movement as a model!

White women feminists and black women feminists are 2 different trains of thought. I thought they walked hand in hand until I was taught by Dr. Pushpa Parekh of Spelman College that there is a difference. Mind you Dr. Parekh is East Indian so I am telling you from the most HONEST and open opinion I can give anyone from what I have been personally been taught.

She had us read this essay by writer/activist Alice Walker (author of the book, The Color Purple) that outlined the difference. The more I read it and understood it then I knew oh my gosh, "no wonder the white feminists don't get me!" Read this excerpt here from: http://science.jrank.org/pages/8159/Womanism.html which defines "womanism" from Alice Walker's perspective, "In Search of Our Mother's Gardens: Womanist Prose".

And, if you want to debate me because of what Rebecca Walker has said about her mom then that is sad because Rebecca Walker has every right to feel the way she does being a mixed race child in a world that can be so cruel. She has a voice to and please don't silence her. Rebecca Walker on her Mom Alice Walker -- Article from NYTimes.com:
Evolution of a Feminist Daughter

Should I have a biased opinion on then everything that Alice Walker says from what her daughter now has revealed about her?

They both have to work out this situation together if they want to but I appreciate Alice Walker defining "womanism" for me and giving me another way to look at myself as a black woman. What Alice Walker does in the privacy of her home is her private life. That goes the same with Rebecca Walker. I pray they will heal but from what I have read it seems that their mother-daughter bond will not be repaired.

[end of my rant on feminism]

Proof here for not only CNN said it but MSNBC, NPR.org, etc.

African-American Women and Where they Stand

African-American Women and Marriage Disparity

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5495033

Oprah addressed the issue but she offered a solution to think outside the box and to do things that we normally do not do such as play golf or think like a man and intermingle with them more on their terms. (if this is what you want)

Thank you for spreading this problem INTERNATIONALLY mainstream media.

This is why I usually don't watch TV. You have LOST me as a consumer. I am tired of the brain washing! Sick sick sick sick of it. Don't continue to say let's talk about it but DO something. Further, our churches need help with this and it should be us all working together to re-brain wash in the correct way for us universally to get along!

Honestly, it is easier it seems to talk than to be a part of the solution! You hiding!? Honestly, are you hiding from trying to be a part of the change? I am trying so hard to educate, help and lend and open an ear but I am overwhelmed with being the nice guy and I need HELP!

So, now the pick up lines some women may get are, "oh, I know you cannot find a good black man but I am a good [insert non-black race here]?" I have actually HAD this said to me so thank you for continuing this ridiculousness.

Provide Solutions for the change:

1. Be opened minded and hire us to do the jobs which have been traditionally held by white men and white women (partner in law firm, opportunities in hospital administration, director of a regional franchise of a blue chip company, etc.)

2. Allow us into your schools (I was denied admission to a prestigious white private school in Washington, DC as a child because I was told I was not mature enough to handle the environment after taking a personality test which was biased. The lady made me upset and because of that she said I was not a good fit for the school)

3. Be willing to TRAIN those who want to be trained to learn a skill, job, etc.

3. Teach our history instead of continuously having us in the dark. There are plenty of white scholars who have given validation to black history (Ex. Ira Berlin, Tim Wise, etc.). I say that because I know that some black scholars are not looked upon as having the *credentials* in sharing our stories. Prime example -Ivan Van Sertima (not everyone can afford or given the opportunity to attend an Ivy League School)

4. Profile black men who are eligible of dating who have issues like any other man of intermingling with the rest of the world.

5. Please be SENSITIVE to interracial dating issues. This is a true taboo situation in the black American community. If people are happy then let them be happy regardless of who they are sincerely attracted to.  Mixed children have a very hard time dealing with the black community or the white community because they are forced to choose a culture and stick with it in America. Why cannot mixed children embrace both cultures (or the multi-cultures they have) instead of being told to have a label? If this is the case then we all should have little boxes checking off everything that may be in us. (You see how ridiculous this gets!)

Though we all need some type of companionship, there are other ways to feel validated so embrace your family, yourself, animals and your environment. Is it harm to love your environment and loving self than to think of having another human to give you that *lost* part you think you have? Guess what, I don't feel *lost* and I don't have a man but my fulfillment is in my work and not in human companionship. I am NOT a super woman nor do I claim to be perfect but my happiness comes in other ways than a man who may give me a headache.

It is a disgrace what some women have gone through in these public divorces (and they are not black, see what I mean!):

Being Blond and Beautiful Really is No Guarantee of Happiness

I so need my books and music to provide that *lost* feeling. If I try to *pour* out my feelings to another human the senseless chatter and insensitivity is something I do not want to deal with anymore.

Power to being reclusive!

**if ONE MORE subject line heading in my email inbox reads, "this is a philosophical discussion on the problem without a resolution in the black community" I AM GOING to BARF!**